Saturday, March 21, 2009

Get out of my scene . . .

We've all had those people who show up on our scenes and annoy the hell out of us . . .

"But I'm a lifeguard!"
Does this look like a freaking pool?! NO!! It looks like head trauma secondary to a fall. You're drunk, in my way and probably haven't been a lifeguard since junior high school. LEAVE.

"But I'm an EMT! You can't get sued if I help you!"
WHAT?!? Do you know how many times WE get sued?! Shut up. This is a college town, you're probably an EMT halfway across the country. You have no idea what our protocols are, and you're in my way. And your drunk. LEAVE.

"I'm CPR certified!"
Good. So am I. By a higher entity than the American Red Cross six years ago in your health class. Go sit with the lifeguard. This guy has a cut finger, he's not in cardiac arrest. You're probably drunk too. LEAVE.

The worst thing I ever had happen on a call as far as bystanders was a very intoxicated MD who claimed he worked in the ER. His wife passed out while walking and struck her head on a set of concrete steps. He wouldn't let go of her or allow us to backboard her or place a c-collar on. He kept telling us he was a doctor and his wife was fine. He had to be arrested by the cops. We later found out she had a skull fracture, brain bleed and she had fallen secondary to a stroke. She was transferred to a major trauma center. I don't care who you are, if you're drunk get out of my scene.


  1. "This man needs assistance. I'm a doctor." says the wealthy man on the golf course
    "This man is an epileptic. What kind of doctor are you?" Says Mother
    "I happen to be the finest dermatologist in all of Los Angeles."
    "Great, I'll let you know if acne breaks out. It's Wednesday, you must all be doctors."


  2. Since most EMS agencies use AHA CPR certification... If by "a higher entity than the American Red Cross," you mean the American Heart Association, the AHA and the ARC have a statement of understanding specifically recognizing each other's training and instructors as equal in quality and content. Both organizations agree that AHA BLS for Healthcare is completely equivalent to ARC CPR Pro Rescuer/Healthcare Provider.

    Your patient won't give a rat's behind if the first responder uses training from AHA or ARC.