We've all had those people who show up on our scenes and annoy the hell out of us . . .
"But I'm a lifeguard!"
Does this look like a freaking pool?! NO!! It looks like head trauma secondary to a fall. You're drunk, in my way and probably haven't been a lifeguard since junior high school. LEAVE.
"But I'm an EMT! You can't get sued if I help you!"
WHAT?!? Do you know how many times WE get sued?! Shut up. This is a college town, you're probably an EMT halfway across the country. You have no idea what our protocols are, and you're in my way. And your drunk. LEAVE.
"I'm CPR certified!"
Good. So am I. By a higher entity than the American Red Cross six years ago in your health class. Go sit with the lifeguard. This guy has a cut finger, he's not in cardiac arrest. You're probably drunk too. LEAVE.
The worst thing I ever had happen on a call as far as bystanders was a very intoxicated MD who claimed he worked in the ER. His wife passed out while walking and struck her head on a set of concrete steps. He wouldn't let go of her or allow us to backboard her or place a c-collar on. He kept telling us he was a doctor and his wife was fine. He had to be arrested by the cops. We later found out she had a skull fracture, brain bleed and she had fallen secondary to a stroke. She was transferred to a major trauma center. I don't care who you are, if you're drunk get out of my scene.
I did not die. Well, I am dead inside. Hear me whine! It's like "hear me roar!" but not as profound and it gets kind of annoying. The whine. I need to drop...
1 day ago