Geodon speed loaders and other things I'd like to see . . .

These are a collection of "I wish they really made that" products from my various coworkers.

From the SWAT doc of a major city: "Geodon speed loaders. Walk in the room, shoot one in the patient and two in the family. Everybody is suddenly happy. Thunk, thunk. Maybe in blow gun form . . ."

From our jail doc: "Prozac in aerosol form. Definitely."

From my shift commander: "Disposable uniforms. This is my second pair of pants today."

From my probie: "Scented N95 respirators, I hate the plastic smell."

From my fire Lt: "Biohazard bags large enough to wrap a patient in, or plastic wrap with that printed on it. Sometimes the hospital deserves to know what they're getting into."

From my intake partner: "Febreeze for humans . . ."

Ideas? Feel free to share . . .

What's stuck in a tree?

When my buddy told this story at first I thought he said they got dispatched to a cat in a tree. What he really said was they got dispatched to a kid in a tree. Slightly confused I asked if the child had climbed up and then been scared to climb back down. Oh, no. He was stuck, in the fork. Apparently this child was what my grandmother would have referred to as "husky."
The firefighters couldn't lift him out of the tree. After using the ever popular chainsaw to remove the offending piece of tree, they couldn't lift him on the ladder. Enter the webbing harness and carabiner. Attach aforementioned harness via carabiner to ladder and lift. Presto, freed child.
Bless his heart at least he was playing outside for the day.