Bacon and doughnuts . . .

They say you are what you eat. I think I'm screwed. Enter yesterday's post shift "debriefing session" held at the local courthouse eatery before grand jury.
"Sorry to detour the conversation, but I just wanted to let you all know this is delicious bacon."
"Huh?"
"Seriously. Amazing. Bacon."
"Woman what is wrong with you? You just downed bacon, eggs, toast, oj, biscuits and gravy and some form of grits. Are you pregnant?"
"My duty belt is a 30", do I look pregnant? No, I'm not."
"Your eating a damn doughnut too?!?"
"Yes. You're interrupting my moment of doughnut zen. Zip it."
"You're going to be in a food coma during testimony."

The North American Emergency Response Guidebook . . .and you

Are you good with primary colors? Can you locate information in a table? Are you smarter than the book itself? Congratulations! You too can operate the Emergency Response Guidebook!!
Ugh. That was definitely eight hours of my life in the academy I want back. NIMS and HAZ-MAT was boring enough the first time around in the fire service. Only four more to go . . .

"Do you know what the best indicator at a Haz-Mat scene is?"
"No."
"A cop. Send him in with a flare. If he drops over or blows up it's not safe."

(Sorry MotorCop and all my brothers and sisters out there . . . but I couldn't resist.)

Bad days . . .

When I was hired on as a firefighter my chief told me, there will be hard days. When I took the National Registry for EMT class, my instructors told me there will be horrible calls. When I took my oath to serve my county as a deputy, my FTO told me you will see things no one should ever see.
As I sit here at work, I dedicate my shift tonight to a friend of mine. I cannot express in words what needs to be said.

I love you, be safe.

May the Lord bless and protect you all.