These are a few of my favorite things.

Some sayings from work that amuse me . . .

Quit driving like you have warrants!!

Stop sucking on it!

Do have anything that will poke me or stick me? Any drugs, guns, knives, hiding Osama Bin Laden?

Why us? Why now?

OUTSTANDING!!!

Just because it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, doesn't mean it's a duck. It might be a felony.

"Sir could you step out of the car and show me some ID?" Who me? "NO the freaking oak tree."

Why do they always have to be on the third floor?

WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!?

Big white box. Big white box with lights. Jesus Christ will you get the hell out of the way!!

Control your explorer, er your probie, what ever he is. Now. Before I find Ritalin in aerosol form and apply it to him.

"Do you want to tell me how you got a Social Security Number if you were born in Guam?" Uh, Guam is a US territory genius.

Perhaps this would be a good time to fake my own death . . .

It's times like this, even in our profession where you have to ask yourself, "What are the odds?"