Knocking on heaven's door . . .

Recently I was appointed to the SO's honor guard and it left me with some thoughts. I once saw an emblem for an honor guard that said "the last to let you down." How true. I hope that I can always be the officer that I wanted to be before I saw everything through the eyes of a tired cynic. I hope I can always be the officer that my brothers and sisters rely on and come to in their time of need. And although I hope it never happens; if I have to be there in their final moments, I hope they understand that no one goes alone.
I have several memorial bracelets that I wear to remind me that there are those who gave their lives in the pursuit of that which they believed in. The police academy starts this week, hopefully at the end I will be assigned somewhere not named the jail. Corrections has been a learning experience, but I need bigger pastures to roam.
When I am tired and I want to give up I always think of several people. Some of them have given the ultimate sacrifice in the performance of their duties. They are firefighters and police officers who now watch over us from above. Some of them I worked with, some of them I never knew personally. The rest are my brothers and sisters still with me in my duties. These are the men and women who have carried me, when I have been to weak to stand, saved my life and walked beside me throughout my career. Several COs at work have asked me why I want to give up seven months of my life to go to the academy when I could become a jail sgt. or lt. The answer to me is simple; so many gave so much, surely I too can give something.

"Alleged" law breakers and other things I snort derisively at.

My all time favorite Sgt. is infamous for the use of the word "alleged" at work. Sarge's comments about "alleged" drug dealers and "alleged" law breakers are some of the only things that make the night bearable.
I swear if I have to hear one more "I'm innocent, the cops trumped up the charges" story this week I'm going to pull my hair out. Look, I don't really want to book you in. The cop that brought you here is seriously annoyed because we're busy and he's waiting in line. We both have better things to do than charge you with random things that we have to look up section codes and do paperwork on. Believe me, even if doing better things only means eating our 4am dinner in peace.
Tonight one of my illustrious coworkers decided that it was mean that we have an inmate isolated and on administrative segregation. Her reasoning? "I don't think he understands what he does, he must get really agitated in that cell all by himself. He only gets to come out an hour a day and he doesn't have anyone to talk to." Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Perhaps our friend should have thought of that before he assaulted a CO and turned into an assaultive idiot that threatens to kill us every shift. Excuse me Sarge, "alleged" assaultive idiot.
Sometimes I just want to come home from work, shut off my phone, sleep all day and do nothing all night. Wait, who are we kidding here? That's every day. In fact, I think that's what I'm going to do now.

STOP RESISTING!!!!

I work the intake area at the county jail for a fairly large sheriff's office in the Midwest. Since I work thirds I get to meet all kinds of new and interesting people. Some of them are jerks, some of them are sweetharts and some of them are prisoners. One of my many co-workers at said intake area said this to me the other day: "Hey, your job is to yell stop resisting and type the use of force report." Oooooooooooooooook. So I was insulted, I thought he meant since I was a girl I was useless. He enlightened me: "You're the newest to this assignment, somebody else's name has to go on the use of force reports. The Major is starting to wonder about the rest of us . . ." Now this does not mean we use excessive force. It means our administration has gone crazy over thoughts of lawsuits and now I have to write a damn use of force report for every use of the restraint chair, every arm bar and every dirty look. Ok, that's excessive. Maybe not EVERY arm bar.

And so it begins . . .

Who knows if anyone will actually ever read this. Well, actually who knows if they will ever give a crap if they do read it. They may run screaming into the hills, or they might stay awhile. Look, I'm not saying I'm the most interesting thing in public safety; I'm just saying if I don't write some of this down I'll be in therapy long before retirement. So sit back, enjoy and thank God you don't have to celebrate New Year's Eve in a jail. Or, if you do at least don't try and stab your CO with an insulin needle . . . I love my job.