Wednesday, March 11, 2009

That's my twin brother . . .

So here's a tip for all of you. If you're going to lie about your identity, don't get brought to the same jail that booked you in the last time. And if you feel the need to do that, don't lie to the same officer that booked you in. If you choose to ignore that fine warning; own up to your lies when I confront you.
I walked out into the receiving sallyport to do a transport and saw the state police with their prisoner. I looked right at the cop and said, "He's been here before." The prisoner gets this deer in the headlights look and goes, "Who me?" No, the cop. The cop is like, "Are you sure?" No, I'm lying to you.
Long story short as soon as our "alleged" lawbreaker tells the cop his "name" I call bullshit. I thought about it for a minute, ran a master search, and pulled up his actual name. I then printed a nice five by seven booking shot, handed it to the state cop and went "Are you sure that's his name you just wrote on your paperwork?"
Needless to say I kind of ruined their night. They don't like getting shown up by corrections officers, especially girls. In the photo are several distinctive scars and marks. The prisoner's explanation? Wait for it, wait for it . . .

"That's my twin brother." That's the best thing you can come up with? Seriously? When asked how his brother would have gotten the same scars in the same places . . . "We're twins, we were born with them . . ."


  1. They say stupidity is hereditary. Maybe that is his twin and they're equally retarded.

  2. True . . .But as Sarge would say "Even in our profession, what are the odds?"