Perhaps this would be a good time to fake my own death . . .

Sigh. I think I should get colored plastic cards on a key ring to hold up at various times. Here, let me explain. The red card would be the "bullshit" card. As in, "You are NOT having a seizure, you're faking it. I call bullshit." The green card would be, "You can take it from here." You know, when your partner is on a roll with a patient or prisoner and you're loving it. The yellow card would be the "DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!" This is for people not smart enough to realize the patient/prisoner/supervisor is going to KILL them if they don't STFU. The final card, the black "card of death" would represent the point of no return. This card would mean that the atmosphere is now so completely polluted with stupidity there are only two choices. One, slap the person unconscious. Two, fake your own death.

Useful in many situations in all professions . . .