Memorials . . .

I have a question for all of you out there who may be reading this. Does anyone know of a company/person that makes police memorial jewelry? I would like something that can be concealed in my uniform (i.e. a necklace) or something that fits in our uniform regulations (a plain metal memorial bracelet). I have seen several places that manufacture stainless steel and aluminum bracelets, but all suggestions are welcome. Honestly my first choice would be a necklace, preferably my department's five point star, or custom dog tags. Any and all options are encouraged. Please leave suggestions in the comments section. Thank you.

Sunrise . . .

Hey buddy,
I'm sitting on my bed with my laptop just like I almost always was for our 2am phone call marathons. I keep waiting for you to call me and ask me to look something up for you. I'm waiting for the phone to ring with that ringtone I assigned to you 6 years ago and refused to change out of pure stubbornness. I wanted to call you so bad yesterday and ask about the dress uniform for the funeral, but it's your funeral. I polished the gun belt you helped me put together and hollered at me about constantly. I kept crying when I thought about it, so I think there's probably some tears on there too.
The boys cleaned up your cruiser, you would have been proud. I unloaded my magazines on my off days the other day because I swore I could hear you yelling at me about it. Someone is driving me in the procession because I know you wouldn't have wanted me behind the wheel all upset. I went to the doctor the other day when I was feeling sick; I didn't want you to think I never listened to you about anything. (And on that note, just for the record, you were right. As usual.)
You know which ones on your shift you have to keep a close eye on. Promise me you'll still look out for me, I don't know what I'm going to do with out you. I'm going to breakfast this morning with my favorite person, you know which one I'm talking about. I'll miss telling her about you, those were always great stories.
This is the hardest thing I've ever done. You were always the first person I hit the speed dial for when things were too much to bear alone. I can't understand why God would take my best friend. I know what you're saying, I can hear you. I'm not blaming God, it's just hard.
Well that's about it. "What are you doing exciting?" "Absolutely nothing." "Well why not?" I'm going to go outside in a little bit and watch the sunrise. Watch it with me please.

I love you.

End of watch . . .

It is with a broken heart that I post this. Last night my best friend/mentor/favorite deputy passed away suddenly before start of shift. I am at a loss. He was 42 years old.

I will say this. For six years, from the time I became a firefighter and eventually a deputy, he watched over me. He answered my questions and loved me unconditionally. The last words I ever spoke to him were "I love you."

God give me strength for I know I cannot do this alone. Never in a million years did I ever think a man I loved with all my heart would leave so soon. A man who will never see me get married, be promoted to patrol, turn 25 or any of the hundreds of other things we often spoke of.

I love you. Watch over your brothers and I; you would have been the person I would have turned to to get through something like this.

Please, if you are out there and feel the need say a prayer for my deputy. I know you didn't know him, but he would have loved all of you.

Rest in peace my brother, we have the watch.

BROTHERHOOD

Public safety partners quiz . . .

Take the following quiz and give yourself a point for every answer you can say "yes" to:
(The partner can be your husband/wife/significant other/or your work partners)

You've ever been hung up on preceded by any of the following statements:
a. We've got a run.
b. I've got a call.
c. Some dumbass just about took off the front of my cruiser.
d. I've got to go help this unit/person.
e. WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT?!

You've ever been the last one in the restaurant of your party and ever had to say:
a. They're on duty, they have a call.
b. Sorry, we're on call.
c. Could we have that to go?

You've ever been woken up to a phone call that starts:
a. Did you know I had court?
b. What are you doing right now? (Extra point if the answer has ever been, "SLEEPING.")
c. I forgot something, can you bring it to work?

You are perfectly comfortable with long silences in phone conversations due to:
a. Someone running a tag.
b. Answering the radio.
c. The other person typing/eating/yelling loudly at traffic.

Any of the following is in your personal vehicle/work vehicle:
a. Disposable gloves.
b. Extra handcuff keys/handcuffs
c. Extra uniform parts.
d. Anything your partner has had to move off of their seat and rolled their eyes about.

More than five? Congratulations, and welcome to the edge of reality.

Greater love hath no man . . .

In honor of National Police Week . . .

Thank you for being my brother. Thank you for being my sister. Even though I've never met you, I have your back. I might not know your name, but I love you. I will be faithful unto the death for you. I will lay down my life for you. Should you ever need me, all you have to do is call.

Somewhere tonight is someone who only gets to say "I love you" to a headstone. Somewhere a child dreams of a parent who will never see them grow up. Somewhere a parent cries that they have had to bury their child.

Be safe.

Greater love hath no man than this; that a man lay down his life for his brother. John 15:13

Cries for help . . .

During headcount a few nights ago I heard someone repeatedly call out for me. After locating the cell, an inmate runs up to the door in tears and says "I just hung up with my sister before count and she's going to kill herself."
I took the name and the address and called central communications. They sent a deputy and the fire department. She did not kill herself. The deputy kicked the door in before she succeeded.
One of the reasons I remain in public safety is I believe someone should always be there to hear cries for help. I also believe that someone should answer them.

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Much like the post I wrote about suicide, I guess I chose to ignore that our profession also boasts one of the highest rates of divorce. So far this week two of my best friends have dropped on me they are getting divorced. One is a young guy who has only been married four years, one is a guy on his second marriage. Sure, people at our department get divorced but it's almost always the ones that you cringed when they got married. The "that's not going to end well" type of marriage.
Both of my friends are devastated. There are children involved in both marriages that are devastated. The younger one says that after counseling it is a mutual split. Apparently as the mother of a two year old his wife was not able to come to terms with him working 12 hour shifts at night. The older guy had been divorced for a while before marriage number two. He was so excited to have a family situation back in his life; he even took full custody of all three children from a previous marriage. There was a big communication problem in that marriage that several of my friends tried to gently point out to them.
Both of them have to come to me for advice. I told them both the same thing; I've never been married, I'm not qualified. My parents have been married almost 40 years. I have no idea what divorce is like.
To me marriage is an institution not to be taken lightly. I'm not just going to run off to Vegas or marry someone I've only known a year. Communication and trust is a big thing to me. At this rate I'll just stay single . . .