Monday, May 3, 2010


Much like the post I wrote about suicide, I guess I chose to ignore that our profession also boasts one of the highest rates of divorce. So far this week two of my best friends have dropped on me they are getting divorced. One is a young guy who has only been married four years, one is a guy on his second marriage. Sure, people at our department get divorced but it's almost always the ones that you cringed when they got married. The "that's not going to end well" type of marriage.
Both of my friends are devastated. There are children involved in both marriages that are devastated. The younger one says that after counseling it is a mutual split. Apparently as the mother of a two year old his wife was not able to come to terms with him working 12 hour shifts at night. The older guy had been divorced for a while before marriage number two. He was so excited to have a family situation back in his life; he even took full custody of all three children from a previous marriage. There was a big communication problem in that marriage that several of my friends tried to gently point out to them.
Both of them have to come to me for advice. I told them both the same thing; I've never been married, I'm not qualified. My parents have been married almost 40 years. I have no idea what divorce is like.
To me marriage is an institution not to be taken lightly. I'm not just going to run off to Vegas or marry someone I've only known a year. Communication and trust is a big thing to me. At this rate I'll just stay single . . .

1 comment:

  1. Ugh. I see it a lot with our types. I was married before I started public safety work and I didn't stay married much long after I started. The schedule is rough, the stress is rough. Having a spouse that just doesn't get how awful the things we see and hear are doesn't help either. Communication is key, I agree.