Rules of traffic enforcement . . .

So the traffic Sgt. taught class today, and it was amazing. Hilarious. Here are some of the better moments . . .

"Do you know what you say when someone gives you a lame excuse?"
"No sir."
"Press hard, you're making three copies."

"Do NOT swing a flare around to direct traffic. You're an idiot, and you'll only succeed in lighting yourself on fire. And the grass. And probably your cruiser."

"What is the first rule of car vs. train? The train wins. The second rule? Get your damn cruiser off the tracks genius or you're the next target."

"Has everyone here seen the COPS episode with the cruiser stuck on the tracks? Good. If you do that, I will laugh at you. And then I will write you up and suspend you for 60 days or so. If you do that on national TV, you will no longer work here."

"RADAR IS BORING?!?! Listen here kid, you're going to be doing this for the next 25 years of your life . . . get over yourself."

"It takes a special kind of stupid to blatantly violate most traffic laws, you will be able to recognize it instantly."

"You know what happened to the last person who acted like an idiot during a traffic stop? Their FTO wasn't as nice of a cop as I am.They almost died."