Drunkus Maximus: Nocturnal. Two varieties of species: one is funny, the other one only thinks they are.
Drunkus Obnoxious: Male- You may have to go hands on if aggressive. Will probably ask for your badge number. Female- Characteristics are screaming/crying/informing you she was a former beauty queen/is married to someone who makes six times what you do. Very vocal.
Flirtatious: Male sightings are rare but not unheard of. Females are more social. Found often on traffic stops. May have bright plumage and very colorful facial markings.
Polywarrantus- May attempt to fight or flee if cornered. Has multiple outstanding warrants. Can be highly aggressive and dangerous.
Entitlement Complexus- Will attempt prove superiority/dominance, young male of the species is the worst. Can also share some traits with Drunkus Obnoxious, generally comes from a wealthier background than average. Impervious to reason and consequences.
Emotional Complexus- Defense mechanisms include tears and hysteria. Reasoning may or may not work. If all else fails, safety in numbers.
Unstableness Obvious: Use caution, unpredictable and potentially violent. Is not playing the same game with the same rules you are.
The newest EMS urban legend is first responders ODing on fentanyl. The tales start usually with a cop on a drug bust or a traffic stop who suddenly falls ...
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