Greetings! . . . You are now screwed.

Part 2 of Sgt. Traffic's amazing class.

"You rednecks don't have K-9s out there. You probably have a rabid raccoon in your trunk."

"Look. When you get a letter from the courts or the government it should say this: Greetings! . . . You are now screwed."

"Here's a list of some of the more obscure laws for you, break these out when you're so pissed your eye is twitching."

"I had someone ask me to post-date a ticket until after their court appearance for DUI. Seriously."

"NO. They do NOT get a warning for that. If I have to complete THAT much paperwork, somebody is getting a ticket. Press hard, three copies."

"What the hell are you talking about? That's not even in my statute book! If you write somebody for that I will wear you out!!"

"THAT is grounds for a TASER. NOT handholding. I should use it on YOU."