Can't have it . . . not yours

So let me just say there is nothing I love more than driving almost an hour for a warrant transport only to discover the arresting agency won't let me have the prisoner due to a paperwork error. Yes. This is how my "Monday" at work started. I felt like yelling really loudly "YOU called ME." (I did not, I let my Lt. yell at them.)
The day continued to be awesome when on the way back to my HQ a guy runs a red light and causes a wreck directly in front of me. Awesome. Here's to keeping the peace and directing traffic in the rain while waiting for the locals to show up.
You know what made this completely better upon arrival back at work? Wrestling a guy covered in mace out of the back of a cruiser . . . so much for my clean uniform.
Can I go home and start over?

Bring in the cot . . . and apparently the spinal immobilization devices

During one of those nights at work where you swear the clock has gone backwards at least twice, I get this call from my control room officer. "Uh, can you go back into the infirmary? I'm pretty sure they have a problem back there." Not good.


I find one of our jail medics with a female having a possible stroke. After notifying one of the on-duty supervisors and the control room we prepare for transport to the hospital. Five minutes later the supervisor calls me on the radio. "Can you bring her down to receiving?"
"Uh. No."
"Do you need the fire department to bring you anything?"

"A cot would be nice."

They arrive. With splints and a c-collar.
"Do you guys know something we don't know?"
"What do you mean?"
"This is a possible stroke."
"Yeah, your Sgt. definitely just told us we needed to bring the c-collar."
"No. The cot. Cot, c-collar, similar but no."

Sometimes I think I'm talking to myself at work . . .

Wait . . . what?

For amusement purposes . . .

This guy comes to visitation at the main complex of our SO. We happen to be large enough to have multiple facilities. His girlfriend is at one of the other complexes; he knows this and tells me this. I inform him that he needs to go to the complex she is housed in to visit her. The response?
"Are you serious?" Funny, that's what I said to my partner once he left.

While seated, in uniform, behind the bullet-proof window with "VISITATION" stenciled above it I get the following. Man walks in, takes a number for the "serving now" line. Makes it up to me and goes "I'm here to see my girlfriend but there's no deputy back in the visitation room and the door is locked."
"Sir visitation is a secure area, I have to hit a button to let you in."
"Yes I know but there's no deputy out here to tell who I'm here to see."
"Sir that's me."
"Really?"
REALLY.

From a phone call we took in intake and receiving:
"I'm worried about my son, he said he is in with some tough guys."
"Ma'am this a jail."
"He's not a violent offender!"
"He's at a minimum security work program."
"Well bad things can happen in there!"
"Tell him these are the best accommodations our county can offer. The only upgrade I have available is disciplinary isolation."

I hate everybody . . . and other myths

I don't know how many of you in law enforcement get this from your significant other/family members regularly, but I get it every once in a while. Every once in a while they drive it into the ground.
"You hate everybody." "You're grouchy all the time." "You won't trust anybody." "You're like talking to a rock when you come home from work." "Somebody from WORK is on the phone for you." "Why do you have to take a call from a supervisor if you're not at work?"
You get the point.
Here's the thing, I don't trust many people. Unfortunately, sometimes that includes people I work with. I am not about to tell people at the grocery store, your barber or the guy installing my cable that I am a cop. Sorry. Not happening. Don't get crappy when you get "the look" shot at you for telling random people "Oh do you know what she does for a living? You'll never guess . . "
I work 12 hour midnight shifts. I'm not grouchy, I'm tired. Okay, who are we kidding here? I am grouchy. That's because I want to go to sleep in the morning. I also want to sleep without getting awoken to "Hey, do you know where the can opener is?"
If I told you what actually happened at work, you would panic. I'm just saying. Some of the guys I work with are spazzed out after things we do.
Public safety unfortunately is not a 9-5 job where you leave everything at work. There are times when work calls and you have to answer. Somebody got seriously injured at work. There is a shift shortage and you are getting called in early. Your vacation is approved/denied based on coverage. Surprise! You have/do not have court today.
So here's the thing; I'm sorry. It's nothing personal, I'll try harder. How are you supposed to explain to your friends and family how to handle you when you spend most of your time trying to figure out how to handle everything else?

What you do matters . . .

Recently, I was in one of those annoying funks where you're fairly certain your supervisor wouldn't pay attention to you if you were on fire. Then amazing things happed. I wrote a memo. Someone read that memo, and, wait for it . . .

DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

I think I'll be in a good mood for the rest of winter now. Sometimes that's all you need, a shot in the arm of "What you do matters."

So for all of you out there with the winter blahs, what you do matters. Thank you.

For every CO that's ever been spit on, for every cop that's ever done their best and still got complained on, for every 2am call EMS has responded to for an earache and for every "structure fire" that's a tiki torch; thank you for what you do.



BROTHERHOOD

Amazing . . .

Sometimes I feel like this is my life. The only warning I give is there is some bad language, and remember this is a joke. I don't want any nurses coming after me with pitchforks and torches.

Firefighter vs. Nursing Home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6yRpnkPlzg

Good times . . .

So here's just a few of the better moments of the last few days at work . . .

I logged a guy's property who had these little white business sized cards that said: "You park like an asshole." Hilarious. Not that I would use them personally, but hilarious.

A sign over our visitation window says "You must possess and present a valid US government issued ID to visit." A guy hands me an ID made in the back of some gas station probably, that says the following across the front. "Not a valid government ID." Then he's shocked we don't accept it. Awesome.

One of our deputies was waiting on a vehicle registration to be faxed to him from dispatch for a report. An hour later he calls them on the phone and goes "Could I have that before the vehicle registration expires?"