Monday, September 14, 2009

Miranda angina and other things not to teach your kids . . .

Apparently there is a small percentage of my coworkers that has the same mentality of a five year old. And by small percentage, I mean roughly half.
Much like small children you should not say things around them that you don't want repeated. An all time favorite squad "diagnosis" after calls is "Miranda angina." For the non-public safety people out there let me translate; allergic to arrest. The chest pain has an onset directly after arrest or shortly after arrival at a correctional facility. I wish I could take credit for how amusing that phrase is. I cannot. It belongs to "Words that should be in the EMS dictionary but aren't." A favorite column of mine in JEMS that disappeared.
Enter me sharing this with a few co-workers at the jail. Then imagine my surprise and sudden panic attack upon seeing it written IN A REPORT. What the hell?! I immediately called the misguided officer who typed said report, and told him that was probably not appropriate in a legal document. His argument? "It's in quotes, so it's funny."
Thank God he did not quote me.

It's a joke people. Enjoy it. Try not to get us all fired in the process though . . . There's some things you should just keep to yourself.


  1. I like it... i may have to use it.. (the phrase not the attack)

  2. "expletive deleted" is one thing, "faking a heart attack" another, but "miranda angina" could really be misunderstood by a defense attorney with an axe to grind.

  3. My best friend placed this nicely in perspective when she said that the guy writing the report was "one of those people that if you stand next to them long enough at work they will get you fired."