I thought we had hiring standards . . .

Sometimes the people I work with make me wonder if we actually have hiring standards or if we just put an ad on the internet. I feel that said ad would have gone something like this:
"Do you have a pulse? Do you breathe? Do you want to wear a uniform? Hire out at your local fire department and/or sheriff's office!!"
Seriously, I'm not claiming to be the brightest crayon in the box; but I at least make it into the burnt orange section most days.
Some examples from the last week that make my brain hurt.

At the jail, someone typed the inmates' cell numbers and then put the attorneys' names on the court docket instead of the inmates to be called for court. Now I realize most people think attorneys are crooks, but that's a little excessive.

When looking for coverage, a new firefighter hit "reply all" to an email from the fire chief and then typed his email. Only problem is it wasn't just our department's listserve. It went to half of the county sheriff's office, the EMA and part of the health department. Nice.

People who cannot spell in reports (fire/EMS/police) and then do not use spell check on the electronic version. It's there, use it.

People who attempt to use phrases and then fail miserably. Example: "It was eye shocking" followed by "It was an eye awakening experience." What?