But then, I've been there before . . .

Repeat offender syndrome: (noun) - 1) Displayed by any inmate who informs you "this isn't my first rodeo" or "I've already been to prison so this is nothing." 2) Any pattern of events at the intake desk that lead you to believe the same thing is happening over and over. (i.e everyone has been arrested for domestic violence, is drunk or both) 3) Any time you release someone from jail and they get arrested again during your shift. 4) When any inmate states they got arrested just so they could come to jail for food/shelter 5) When any inmate explains any part of the process to you better than most officers

See also: Rehabilitation (obsolete)

Take it to God . . . or your Lt., whoever you find first

Recently things have been hectic at work, as I'm sure you've gathered from the posts about my coworkers' mental health. Our chief deputy recently came forward and told the sheriff that "our jail is sick." He laid out everything to the sheriff, and it was ugly.
Our lieutenants have been pulling various employees in to talk with them about problems at work. Luckily I got selected by one of the trustworthy ones, you know the supervisors that you can have a meltdown on and they never tell anyone.
When I was done voicing my observations and concerns my Lt looked sick. I don't know if he was ready to take confession when he started the meeting. Some of the things I told him visibly disturbed him. He asked how supervisors could willingly and purposefully belittle a suicidal officer. He asked why no one came and debriefed the officers that had sat with him until help arrived so he couldn't harm himself. He asked how a sergeant could lie and falsify documents to protect one officer and implicate an other.
I had no answers. I still don't.
I feel better, because I gave my problems up to someone with power. I'm pretty sure that's not what my grandmother meant when she told me to give my problems up to higher power. She was talking about God. Unlike my inmates, I have never found God in my jail. I did however find someone willing to listen.
I don't think the administration's willingness to take action now will affect my decision to leave for another agency as soon as the opportunity arises. Just like the Wizard of Oz, you can never go back once you see what evil stands behind the curtain.

Crisis epidemic . . .

When one of my colleagues committed suicide over the holidays I posted this. Now belatedly the people I work with have realized the big picture. Since my date of hire 4 years ago, our department has had 2 suicide attempts while on duty and 10 people go out on "stress evaluation leave." Only 3 of those 10 have returned to duty. 2 officers have walked in to the brass, put their service weapon on the desk and stated: "I'm going to quit or I'm going to kill myself." All but 3 of these incidents have happened within the last year.

My administration is clueless. "What problem?" Like your employees running like lemmings to a cliff isn't a big enough clue something is wrong. More and more officers are expressing signs of stress; yet we are told to do more with less.

This week a man who trained me, joked with me and cried with me simply walked off the job. He walked into the Captain's office laid his equipment and his paperwork on the desk and left. Again I'm left with the feeling of "What did I miss?" Surely to God we should have noticed something in a man we worked with every night, drank with and talked to every day. I hope he's happy in a world far from law enforcement and corrections. I hope we can stop the trend, our lives depend on it. Only thing is, how do you fight a monster you can't see?

No, I am not poison control . . .

One of our frequent fliers calls 911. We get called out for "an overdose on unknown substance." Nice, so it could be bleach or Tums. Upon arrival we find our resident system abuser who says this: "Why are you here?" Behind me I can barely make out my engineer whisper, "I was wondering the same thing."

FF: "I called poison control"
Me: "No, you called 911."
FF: "Well yeah, but that was because I wanted the number to poison control."
Me: "That's what 411 is for, not 911."
FF: "No, 411 is information not poison control, everyone knows that"
Me: "Clearly not."
FF: "So are you going to do your job and give me the number?"
Me: "Did you take something you think is dangerous?"
FF: "No, I wanted to see if this pill my girlfriend gave me is really a Vicodin."
Me: "Right. Go back in the house before I call the cops."

Honestly, I thought we covered this. . .

For the record:

1. Do not drive to the sheriff's office to produce paperwork to a deputy when you are drunk, suspended or both.

2. Do not walk in a 24 hour diner where there are 3 uniformed officers and two plainclothes eating dinner at 4 am; while smoking a joint with active warrants for your arrest. Especially if you are going to come up and talk to us.

3. Do not drop off inmate medication to the jail pharmacy that has 5 kinds of pills in one bottle. When one is a schedule 2 drug, that's an even bigger problem.

4. Do not come bail out the person you have a protection order against and then yell at the deputy because they tell you to leave the property before that inmate comes outside.

5. Do not turn yourself in at the jail with illegal drugs on your person.

That's all for today's PSA. Remember, we're here to serve your ass; not kiss it.

So. . .your're a cop?

This has gotten said to me like 20 times while I've been in uniform this week. Is it bad these are some of the responses I've concocted in my head?

-Nope. Stripper.
-Halloween is a religion for me. I celebrate it year round.
-Stole the uniform. Don't tell the cops.
-I'm an explorer. We're short staffed from lay offs so they let me carry a gun after school.
-They said military uniform inspired clothing was the new thing this fall, my own twist.
-I dress like this because I like looking like I weigh 20 pounds more and like a man.

Or just, "No." I wonder what they'd say to that?

Red light, green light . . .

*Quick note: Thanks to everyone for the song suggestions, my I Pod and I love you.

Sarge: (Pointing at our extra guy.)"You're on red light" (Pointing at my partner.) "You're on green light"

Extra guy: "Wait, so I'm on red light?!"

Sarge: (Speaking to my partner) "He's only greenlighted if you give him permission. If he goes green without your permission I green light you to beat his ass."

Extra guy: "Red light means I'm on time out and I'm the good cop?! What the f***"