So. . .your're a cop?

This has gotten said to me like 20 times while I've been in uniform this week. Is it bad these are some of the responses I've concocted in my head?

-Nope. Stripper.
-Halloween is a religion for me. I celebrate it year round.
-Stole the uniform. Don't tell the cops.
-I'm an explorer. We're short staffed from lay offs so they let me carry a gun after school.
-They said military uniform inspired clothing was the new thing this fall, my own twist.
-I dress like this because I like looking like I weigh 20 pounds more and like a man.

Or just, "No." I wonder what they'd say to that?

Red light, green light . . .

*Quick note: Thanks to everyone for the song suggestions, my I Pod and I love you.

Sarge: (Pointing at our extra guy.)"You're on red light" (Pointing at my partner.) "You're on green light"

Extra guy: "Wait, so I'm on red light?!"

Sarge: (Speaking to my partner) "He's only greenlighted if you give him permission. If he goes green without your permission I green light you to beat his ass."

Extra guy: "Red light means I'm on time out and I'm the good cop?! What the f***"

Ideas welcome . . .

So I'm about to buy myself an I Pod Touch, which I am super excited about. The purpose for this shiny new toy (other than I want to play Apps at work) is that I need it for a half-marathon. That being said, I have a limited idea about what I'm going to put on my playlist.
Side note: For all you awesome half-marathon runners, I am not you. This is going to take me a while. A long while.
So I need at least two and a half hours of quality running music . . . feel free to share ideas, I'm kind of out here on my own.

I just stopped to say I love you . . .

Hey buddy,
I just stopped to say hello. Work is really bad sometimes; I wish you were here to point out the good parts. I got involved in a disciplinary hearing and I didn't even know I was part of the original event. You would be happy know that I was cleared and my file is still clean. I see that the guys have been tucking notes about work under your memorial stone. It's time to move on from the Sheriff's Office, somehow I know you would approve. I went to visit my parents and thought of you, I want you to be proud. It will all be ok, it's just hard here without you. You would approve of my current half-unit, I know you never liked the last guy I dated anyways. I miss asking you my "rookie" questions more than you can imagine. Watch over me. . . I love you.

Ya think?

From the cartoon "Police Limit" by Garey McKee. Hallelujah, he speaks the truth.

Moving on . . .

Yesterday I reached one of the hardest decisions of my life, to go ahead and move on from my beloved SO. Work has been so bad lately that people are quitting with no other job to go to. The current status can only be explained as "dark." There will probably be yet another round of layoffs to bring the total to an even 100.
This is not the department that hired me. This is not why I became a cop. They announced there will be no promotional exam for patrol in 2011, there has not been one since 2008. This is now my fourth year in the jail. I remember when work was fun and people cared about each other there.
As one friend leaves for state law enforcement, I lay flowers on an other's grave. It's time to move on. I started updating my resume yesterday, my first choice is city law enforcement followed by the state investigative division.
I never wanted to leave this place but it's time to move on to bigger and better things.

Lost in translation . . . cop to English

"Hey CO, all I did was a quick search for weapons."
translation - "If you find dope or anything else, please handle the charges and report so I don't have to."

"All he has wrong with him is a small abrasion to his knee."
translation - "I think it might need stitches, please don't make me take this guy to the hospital."

"Unable to locate."
translation - "I can't believe you sent me here to check on this. The "suspicious" person was last seen an hour ago. Like they're still going to be here. Right."

"It's a civil matter."
translation - "Why the hell did you call the cops for this?"

"Do you have any pending calls?"
translation - "Please say no so I can eat for the first time in eight hours."