Shift Log . . .

Sorry about the delay in posts . . . took the parents on a trip and took my first vacation from the SO in two years. Still on vacation from another week or so, spending most of it picking up extra shifts at the FD. We have a new probie, and she is fantastic. I wish I had caught on so quick . . .
So today's shift has gone two different ways today, depending on who you ask. I had a great time with the probie and my buddy back from when we both worked for rural volunteer departments. The shift commander however, is throwing a fit. We hadn't even hit the twelve hour mark yet and we had already knocked out seven calls. Car v. pedestrian, several fire alarms and two calls to two different trailers . . . for the the same patient. Mix all of this with five or six commercial fire inspections and lunch and we have stayed busy most of the day.

Speaking of fire inspections, here's a professional tip to all of you. The place to store paint is NOT on the shelf beside the fireplace. Yes, we found this. Also the thing NOT to say to the fire inspector is that; "That is the most fucking ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. Why do my fire extinguishers have to be in plain sight in my business. They're ugly. Besides it's not like it's going to catch on fire." WTF?

Protip to all of you college kids on bicycles out there, courtesy of our truck crew and your local police. You have to follow all the same traffic laws as a car in this state. Yes, that means YOU. And if you don't, don't cry when my friends ticket you or cite you in an accident. Also, do not tell the cop, "How the hell am I supposed to know that? It's not like anybody tells you!" Just a suggestion, you might want to go look at that driver's ed book you largely ignored . . . just saying.

High crimes and misdemeanors . . .

Protip to all of you aspiring inmates out there; if you are going to smoke pot . . . do NOT do it in my jail. Yes. This happened. The ironic thing is said inmates waited until five minutes before mandatory standing headcount to do this. WTF? Like I'm NOT going to notice the strong odor of MARIJUANA in my housing unit. Really? I mean, really?
And besides, do you really want to smoke something that some other guy smuggled in the jail in his butt? I'm just saying . . .

PS: We're the Sheriff's Department, there's always a K9 on duty. You can hide it from me . . . not so much from him.

GRADUATION!!!

Yes! It is FINALLY done. No more academy!! Fantastic . . . let the celebration begin. Followed by the sleeping . . .

Here in the real world they're shutting my county down . . .

Two days before my graduation to be a certified peace officer, comes the call we at my department have been dreading. "They started the layoffs today . . . here's who's gone already." While I have enough personnel hired after me that it will have to get ugly to get to me, it doesn't matter. These are my brothers and sisters, men and women with families and houses to pay for. I met my friend from another division outside in the parking lot tonight, turned on John Rich's song "They're Shutting Detrioit Down" . . . and cried. He has two kids, a wife, a house and now no job. Every division of the SO was affected.
What does it say about the state of the country you live in when you can't afford to keep the people who keep you safe?
May the Lord bless and protect those who now don't know what the future holds. Keep my brothers and sisters still working safe from harm now that their backup isn't there anymore.

"May your hope give us hope, may your love give us love . . ."

Jailhouse doctors, rubber cement and you . . .

The final countdown!!! Graduation is next week!! Yay! Then I am officially a real cop . . . who works in a jail. Yeah, I know. Don't rub it in.

So this guy comes in the jail and starts telling me how he diagnosed all his health problems on his own. He obviously did good research, as proven by the following statement: "I have grandma seizures." Right. I'll let her know.

I realize I look young for my age but it's been awhile since I've been carded for alcohol. Consequently I don't always carry my ID in the grocery store. Apparently, this is a mistake. At a national chain who might rhyme with "wall dart," I attempted to buy *gasp* rubber cement. I am in my mid-twenties, in uniform. The clerk's response? "Uh, you're right on the border of looking eighteen. I need to see some ID."
Are you freakin' serious? Really? For rubber cement? While I'm in uniform? Whatever . . .

How was your day?

I definitely have been awake since noon yesterday. I came home after five hours of academy and eight hours of work. Intake and release was slammed. I drank a beer, ate some ice cream with hot fudge sauce and I'm going to sleep.

They wonder why people in public safety have issues . . .

Running down a dream . . .

I have now successfully passed all parts of my lovely physical agility test. Woo Hoo!!! Now less than a month away from graduation. Posts are scarce I realize, but the academy is priority at the moment.
Now aside from the final academic exam and swearing in ceremony, I only have a few more hurdles. One last firearms qualification on my service weapon, off duty gun and possible backup weapon. Rifles and shotguns come later . . . Some random administrative paperwork, and getting all the rest of my equipment issued. Then it's just time to sit and wait in the jail until the next round of promotional interviews from applications. Either that or go find another department. I think I'll stick with the SO for right now, even though it could be a year until the next application period.

Like sarge always tells me; "What's the worst thing that could happen?"

"Uh, sarge? Maybe we shouldn't have said that out loud . . ."

"What are the odds?"